"Mind over matter"-The use of the mind or willpower to overcome a difficult situation. To push forward even when you feel weak.
I’ve always been the type of person who just keeps on pushing. I’m not one to give up or quit. Never been the type. Over the years, I’ve endured a lot of pain and inner turmoil. I thought this was normal. I thought this was something that I could deal with on my own. As an intelligent person, my mindset has always leaned towards “I’m smart, I can figure this out on my own!''. I thought this as I was constantly feeling inadequate, incomplete, and just dark. I looked around and saw happy people living normally and having fun. It made me a bit bitter, I felt as if I was being punished and that this was how I was meant to live the rest of my life. As time passed and things stayed the same, I began to realize that I didn't want to live a life without happiness. Something wasn't right. It hadn't been right, and I realized that I couldn't fix it all on my own. The situation was so much more than what I thought it was. I needed help.
There was a point in my journey when someone told me that it “wasn't my fault”. They reminded me that I'd been putting in the effort to fix things for a long time and that there may be underlying factors preventing me from progressing. It took me a couple years to accept that the help I needed was going to be externally sourced. It was time to take larger, and more beneficial steps towards happiness. It was time to open my mind to my options, my goals and how I was to achieve them.
After receiving professional help and it yielding results, I realized that it is absolutely okay to need MORE help. This doesn't make you crazy or unstable, it just means that the situation requires more attention than you initially thought. It communicates that you want to be better.
The biggest part of all of this is that it’s okay to feel bad, but you have to WANT to feel better. To make the changes, YOU have to WANT to make the changes and do the work to reach your goals. “Do the work for yourself”. This is a value that I live by, and one that I hadn’t thought to apply to my own mental health. Aside from your efforts in school, your career, your relationships and etc. you still have to put in the work when it comes to your mental health. Now that I’ve taken the steps to bettering my mental health, I can put in the work in other areas of my life. I can give fashion, art and the ones that I love more of my attention. I can finally let these things fill my mind.
This journey has opened my eyes to the simple joys of life and living. It has made me so much more self aware than I have ever been. It has shown me who was really there all along. Life is so beautiful, Love is amazing, and self love and awareness is so important.
There is always a reason to keep pushing. There is light at the end of that dark tunnel.
“Do the work for yourself”
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